On God Going Ahead

In seeking the Lord these past few weeks, I've felt moved to beseech him to go before us--in all things. God has set out our path in front of us as only the Almighty could. Puzzle pieces falling together, forming a picturesque image of where He is leading us. Just as worry seeps in about this detail or that, His peace overwhelms me.  

Our God is so good. 

I've asked Him to go on ahead of us, to lead us into the home He wants us to inhabit, to establish relationships with those He knows will encourage us, counsel us, and receive the same from Kevin and me. But also, I've asked him to move ahead of me and show me my place in all of this--how I am to minister, where/how/when/if I am to work. 

And our Great God is doing that already. My desire would be to establish a successful piano studio in town. And even before we move, I have 2 potential piano students and connections with the instrumental music director at the public school. I may even be considering a role as choir accompanist. Wow. 

And I will give the LORD the glory due Him--all this is from Him.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. 

Deuteronomy 31:8

On Seeking Perfection

I am Melanie, and I am letting go of perfection. 

This is a scary thing for two reasons. 1) I am a seeker of perfection and have often driven myself crazy as I strive. 2) Doesn't Jesus call us to be perfect just as He is perfect? 

Yes, he does, but he doesn't call us to work and achieve and beat ourselves up when we fail. He calls us to himself, He draws us near, and the closer we become to His heart, the more in unison our hearts will beat with His. The goal is not the trying, the striving. The goal is to be Holy as I AM is Holy. We can only reach such perfection when we release our efforts and accept the life changing, new-covenant-making, total atonement of the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary. 

He became our once-for-all sacrificial lamb. 

This doesn't mean we give up, stop seeking, or accept our sinful state as part of the deal. Absolutely NOT. By receiving that redemptive blood of Christ over your sinful heart, you have been given new life. We begin to stumble along beside our Master and experience discipleship for all it's worth. We are created to learn from Him, to long to be like Him. 

It all starts with believing in the Lord Jesus and accepting His all-surpassing grace and love into our lives. Then we offer all we have back to him--our love. Jesus will know the truth of our love by our obedience, and our obedience is simply the outpouring of our heart's desire to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength.  

There is no striving, no achieving involved. Only grace. Only love. Only pursuit of the One who has given us life. We can't know our Lord intimately and not experience His holiness as a part of our life. He commanded us to be perfect, knowing it would be the natural result of a life truly and wholly in love with Him. 

Freedom.

On Delegating to Community

Today, Jesus said to me, 

"Obedience to Me doesn't always mean doing everything yourself. Nowhere in Scripture is it commanded (or even indicated) that you are to "go into all the world...and you must go it alone." Where did you get this notion that the work you do is only able to be done by you? Child, you are irreplaceable and an essential part to my Body, but you are being overtaken by pride. You must give me those secret thoughts that say, "But if I don't do this, no one else will (or no one else will do it this good or this right.)"  Your way is not perfect. 

MY way is perfect, my dear, and my way is done in community with others. From the days of Moses I have been instructing my children to call on others to accomplish my will. I commanded that great man to delegate responsibilities to other leaders. He was trying to do everything himself and it just wasn't working. It's impossible. 

As soon as you realize you're doing it all, you must recognize that you are also rejecting my involvement--my leading. 

Don't be afraid to lose control. to lose respect. to lose words of affirmation when you give responsibilities to others. It may be a hard decision to make, but it is the right one. It is the humble choice that follows the example I set for you. Servanthood. When you make the choice to give up control, you are saying to others that you value their help, you need their help, you are not super woman.

You were created for community. Live in it. 

And start by letting Me lead." 

On The Failure

oh....Dear........Father. My emotions are so raw right now. My thoughts are harried. My heart beats in a confused rhythm. The wounds still fresh. 

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. My failures stack one on top of another, again and again, as if attempting to mimic the tower of Babel. Dumb idea, I know. But my sinful nature seems to definitely has a mind of its own--and a very powerful one at that. 

WHY, GOD, WHY do I keep doing the things I hate--the evil I see within me? Why do I cling so tightly to the Law of Sin and Death?

How is it possible to know the good I need to do, and even to WANT to do that good, but to fail to do it. 

Over.

and. 

Over.

again. 

But alas, I know the truth of the matter. I am sinful. I fail. I will keep failing. But I am not a FAILURE. My identity is found in You alone. 

What a wretched woman I am!! Who will rescue me from this body of death?! THANKS BE TO GOD! for it is through the grace given me by Jesus Christ our Lord.