God has been working in incredible ways.
I have never experienced Him so intensely in my life.
But I don't think that's because because He's suddenly showing up as He never did before; no, I believe I'M the one who has changed.
I have made the conscious decision to remain open to His Word, His whispers, His proddings in my heart.
This contact was always there.
My life was just too noisy.
too selfish to notice.
I deliberately ignored Him in the past.
I pushed Him away, moved my heart far from Him.
This was for my own "protection."
It hurts to be moved, changed, altered in ways you never prepared for.
I've learned I'm learning that staying the same, living life according to my plans is what ends up hurting me.
God's plan will always, always win in the end.
So why fight it?
I've given up.
I'm no longer making plans.
I'm experiencing God.
Listening to His (sometimes frustrating) exhortations to do this or not to do that.
I'm trusting that if I'm obedient to whatever crazy path He sets me on, He will provide.
He always has, he always will.
He is always faithful, always loving, always having our best interest in mind, always protecting.
So why waste time living a life of endless striving and anxiety?
Just give up.
And follow Jesus.