Jesus calls husbands to love their wives. We women are pretty good at demanding that, right? If the men in our lives don't tell us enough or show us enough, we can beat them into the ground. We would never take the excuse, "Well, I told you I loved you on our wedding day, shouldn't that be enough?" That's crap. So how much more should we run from the lie that we will respect our husbands as we see fit. As long as he's taking out the trash when I want it done, as long as the towels are folded correctly (MY way), as long as helps without me asking, as long as he works hard and makes plenty of time for me, as long as he's not stupid for not stopping to ask for directions, THEN I'll respect him.
NO. Jesus calls wives to respect their husbands. He's a smart one, our Creator. He wired us women to need to feel loved, so he commanded men to love. He designed men to function fully only if they feel trusted and respected, so he commands women to respect. Simple.
I shared a bit of my personal story over yonder, and I may (I hope to) continue to share the wonderful truths I learn in Shaunti's book, For Women Only.
But for now, I will tell you what I am telling myself--
respect your husband simply because he's your husband.
trust his judgment (even when it has to do with laundry or dishes or directions).
defer to his judgment (stop cutting in and correcting him).
stand up and support him publicly and privately.
seek a change in heart--ask Jesus to move you from making an effort to trust, to give you a heart that truly trusts him.